For many years, I had trouble seeing the love that people gave to me. How do I explain this? It's when someone does something for you, out of love, but it might be the opposite of what you would ask for. Do you know what I mean?
It took me many years and a few hurts in my family/friend relationships to realize this truth. It was when I read The 5 Love Languages that it really clicked-- we don't all love the same way! When I love someone, I might put a lot of effort into getting them a really good birthday present. I might write them letters or send them cards. I generally want to make them feel like I want to spend lots of time with them (because I do!). What I DON'T typically do is tell them how much I love them or what they mean to me. It's because "words" aren't the way I show love.
As many of you know, we all show love in different ways. For some it might be gifts, for some it might be doing things to help out, and for some it might be time. We just need to take the time to recognize it!
A perfect example, I think, is something that Daniel did for me on my first trip to visit him (by the way, he said I could use this story). I was feeling super sad because it was our last night together and time was running out. So he thought he woulds surprise me by leaving and going to the grocery store to get ALL of my favorite snacks. At the time, I felt a little upset that with so little time left, he would go to the grocery store for two hours of our precious time! But as I reflected on the experience, I thought this was the perfect example of me not recognizing love when it was right in front of my face! Daniel was trying so hard to make me feel loved by cheering me up with lots of tasty treats. When I think back on that day, I feel SO loved. He's so wonderful to me! (-:
Now that I've come to this knowledge, I try much harder to recognize other's love language and love them in that way. And I also try much harder to realize when people are showing love to me-- even if it's not the way I would show love! It's true not just in romantic relationships but in ALL relationships. If you are feeling a little like your family/friends/spouse don't care, try looking at it a different way. Maybe they are loving you in their own way and you just need to recognize it.
So, what do you think? Have you experienced this in life?